Gulping down life...

Coming back…

Yeah I remember saying, I was going to use this as much as possible, but I am going to attempt it again… so stay tuned…

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dreamer….

Like Ozzy once said…

“I’m just a dreamer, I dream my life away…..”

You cannot help but dream what would life be like without something in it. Or how would your life be if you could go back and change something. Something vital and important that can change your future durastically.

You dream that you win the lotto, you even go as far as planning how you would spend the money to the last ‘t’, still knowing you are just dreaming.

A dream is a powerful thing, Martin Luther King’s dream is what started a revolution and look at this great country now.

….but sometimes, dream’s can be nightmares. You just want to run away, never to return.

I keep on dreaming nightmares, and I keep on wishing that a better day will come, I keep hoping that day will come, I keep praying that day will be here soon.

But sometimes, all the prayer you give, all the hope in the world, all the coins you toss into a wishing well, just doesnt stop those nightmares. Doesn’t stop the world from going around and around, and doesn’t stop you from waking up in the morning and dealing with the problems of yesterday…

But I say, keep dreaming and hoping and wishing and praying. Because one day, that light will shine and it will shine bright.

Today, just isnt that day….

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missing you…

Well, this would be my son. Derrick Alejandro Rivera. He is now two years old, almost going to add another half to that age. I miss him dearly.

Being a father is something out of this world, especially when you want to do so much more, but so far away. Sometimes people do not want to listen, some people do not want to understand.

Why? Is the question always floating around my mind. Why is it that I cannot do more when I am trying so hard. Why cannot I see him more often.

I would understand if I was one of those fathers that left out and never wanted to return, or show up years later. On the contrary, I am not. I am a father that embraced my son with open arms and wanted to do so much for him, that was either not done for me, or well what can I say…. I wanted to be a father. Give your children the best that you can, and more that you have never had.

There are so much more feelings within that I want to release. Things did not go well between my ex-wife and I, and still at times, yes, I dont think it is going to go well any time soon. I try my best to keep things calm, just to hear my son’s voice. Talk to him, and it kills me inside. I cry, and cry often. I find myself staring at his pictures, while he is passing me by, growing up so fast, and I am no where near.

I wanted him for Thanksgiving, I just want to spend time with him…. period.

So papo, Daddy misses you. Some day, I dont know when, some day soon, I will be there, at least to visit. Daddy loves you……

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I think i found it…

I think I found exactly what theme I wanted to work with and finally have it all laid out how I want it. Now i am comfortable and now I dont have to be on here much longer. Well, except for udating that is.

Now, i would like to Thank the original Designer of the theme i used, which is Called Chocolate con Leche by Vidar. When you have a chance, swing on by his Tumblr and check him out.

Like i mentioned in yesterday’s post, this is a lot of fun, and I am absolutely excited in using this more in depth. Soon enough I will be updating on a daily basis and just sharing some of my feelings and thoughts.

Well, till next time….

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